Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i came on her dog
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Randomize
