dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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