I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
