He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
