And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
