did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize