whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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