Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i think i have two assholes
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
