Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
