I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize