he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
