would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
