So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
