I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
