with your own penis?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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