he thought i was a dude.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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