Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
