I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize