some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize