Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
