Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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