Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Redeem this text for a blowjob
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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