Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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