I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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