Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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