What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
