Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
