Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
