I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
