Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
