Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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