what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize