she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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