is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize