I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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