Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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