You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I know her cup size but not her name....
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
