Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
