I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
