We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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