Nicole vs. Life
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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