Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
