my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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