Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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