people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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