So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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