She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
