Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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