My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
