I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
