Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
