I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Randomize
