The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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