My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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