He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
