Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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