I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
