I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
